Getting Un-Stuck

You know that icky sticky feeling of being stuck. We’ve all been there… Stuck in an unfulfilling job. Stuck in a toxic relationship. Stuck in a phase in life where we have absolutely no freaking clue what we want to do. That stuck place can make us feel like we're sinking in quicksand!

But here's the deal- It’s not usually the situation itself that’s causing that stuck feeling, it’s the internal battle between what our heart wants, and what we think we “should” want (or what we think others expect of us.)

In January, I wrote an article called Who Cares What They Think. In that article I reference Marie Forleo's incredible book, Everything is Figureoutable. Looking back now, it’s mind-blowing just how relevant that sentiment has been this year.

For decades to come, we’ll be telling 2020 stories… stories of everything we endured, yes, but also stories of how we figured it out.

We figured out how to continue education when schools closed their doors. We figured out how to feed our families when grocery stores ran out of everything. We figured out how to exercise when gyms shut down. We figured out how to pay the bills when work fell away.

Reflecting on it now, it feels incredibly empowering to see what we’ve figured out this year.

But when we’re in that stuck place, the solution feels anything but “figureoutable.”

When we’re stuck, we become bogged down by options, and analysis paralysis sets in.

Around and around we go, trying to find the perfect solution, growing more and more overwhelmed until we throw in the towel and avoid making a decision altogether.

Other times, we may not see any viable options at all.

Thus, we stay stuck.

Newton’s first law of motion states, “An object at rest stays at rest.” That’s exactly what it feels like when we’re stuck. Like the amount of energy required to figure out how to get un-stuck is suffocating.

But the second piece of this simple law of physics holds the key to becoming unstuck- “An object in motion stays in motion.”

To become unstuck, we need to create motion.

We need to take one small step in ANY direction. We don’t need all the answers in that moment, we just need to do one thing that feels right, that feels good.

It seems simple, but when we’re stuck, it doesn’t feel so simple.

We all need a safe place to lay it all out when we’re stuck, be it a journal or a close friend. To work through the massive swirling storm of overwhelm in our minds that keeps us stuck. Each decision. Each option. And all of the fears holding us back. By getting everything out, we slowly begin to discover the root of what’s keeping us stuck, giving us the clarity to start creating momentum.

Becoming empowered to live a life that fulfills us means giving ourselves permission to feel it all, share it all, and then to make decisions to move our life in the direction that WE want it to go. Not the direction others expect, but the direction that feels right to US.

So, what’s the first step to getting unstuck?

Newton.

Seriously.

One small step in ANY direction that feels good creates the tiniest bit of momentum.

One of the most effective ways I’ve found to create that first bit of momentum is by free-writing about my feelings around the situation that’s keeping me stuck. I let it all out on paper. Knowing that no one will read what I write, I let my mind run free. I don’t edit; I don’t overthink; I just write.

And every single time, I end up writing myself into that first step toward figuring it out.

If you don’t already use this strategy, I encourage you to try it. Just scribble every thought that enters your mind until you run out of steam (or ink). As you look back through what you wrote, you’ll see common themes.

Our answers hide there- in those thoughts that come from deep inside us, the place we keep censored. The place beyond what we think we “should” think or do or say. The place that knows we can figure it out. The place that knows that our deepest desires and dreams are worth pursuing.

See, most of the time we’re not really stuck, we’re just trying to figure out the wrong problem.

We’re trying to figure out how to be what everyone else expects us to be, and not what our heart knows we can be. So our hearts dig in their heels like a stubborn toddler until we hear them out.

The key to getting unstuck is listening to that little voice inside and giving ourselves permission to want what we want… to chase our “crazy” dreams… to be exactly who we are.

Uncensored. Real. Unstuck.

Let’s do it!

Xx Jen