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The "Secret" to Reaching Our Goals

Updated: Sep 13, 2022

"I’ll be happy when…"

I lived the first 45 years of my life using these exact words.

"I’ll be happy when I graduate."

"I’ll be happy when I land my dream job."

"I’ll be happy when I meet my soul mate."

"I’ll be happy when I have kids."

"I’ll be happy when I qualify for the Boston Marathon."

"I’ll be happy when I have a perky butt." 😉

I think most of us use those words - “I’ll be happy when…” - even though we constantly hear that happiness is in the present moment. We know on an intellectual level that we should be happy in the present, but deep down we still cling to the thought that some future event will make us happier.

One obvious flaw with this thinking is that if we base our happiness on a specific outcome, and that outcome never comes, we will never allow ourselves to be happy. But that’s a whole different topic.

I want to look at this from a different angle, an INSANELY EMPOWERING angle, because the truth is, we give ourselves so much power when we create our own happiness BEFORE we tackle our goals.

I’m gonna say that again-

We give ourselves SO MUCH POWER when we create our own happiness BEFORE we tackle our goals.

Here’s an example:

If we make a to-do list toward our goal, it might look something like this:

Goal: Lose 10 pounds

Step 1: Rid the house of junk food

Step 2: Learn to meal prep

Step 3: Decide on an exercise program

Step 4: Surround myself with positive, supportive people with similar goals

And on and on until we lose those 10 pounds… Are we happy then?

In my experience, I have a brief moment of “yay me” and then I’m on to picking apart the next flaw or setting the next goal.

I want to propose adding a powerful first step to the to-do list:

Step 1: Decide on something I can do every single morning JUST FOR ME that brings me joy. (As an added bonus, do something at lunchtime, dinnertime and bedtime too! There’s no such thing as too much self-love. Just sayin’)

It’s true-

We are so much more effective in the pursuit of our goals when we START from a foundation of happiness.

When we make OUR happiness our number one priority.

When we take time EVERY DAY to do things that fill us up.

Because the truth is, when we tackle our goals from a happy, positive mindset, we create momentum that allows the other steps to flow. And we attract positive people and events that align with and support us in our goals.

The example I used in last week's blog post demonstrates this on a day-to-day level:

Those days when we get out of bed in a dark place, everything seems to go wrong. From being late to work, to encountering rude people at every turn, and on and on...

But when we start our day in a good mood, things seem to fall right into place and our day proceeds with a sense of ease and joy.

Because like attracts like. Positive energy attracts more positive energy. Unfortunately, the opposite is also true.

When I get out of alignment, I can’t write. I mean, I DO write, but it’s choppy and forced and it feels like… WORK… gag. The same holds true with running. If I’m in a dark place, my runs feel so incredibly challenging.

When these things happen, I know it’s time to take a moment to make happiness priority numero uno again. It’s my signal to drop everything that’s not 100% necessary to survival and do something that makes me happy.

It could be as simple as dancing around the living room singing at the top of my lungs with my pretend hairbrush-microphone while my kids cover their ears and call me a dork. It could be watching an episode of Christina on the Coast (or The Bachelor… ehem). It could be going for a massage or just sitting down and reading a chapter of a favorite book. It could be doing a little yoga or taking a walk with a friend.

It really doesn’t matter what it is, and it doesn’t have to take a lot of time.

It just needs to be something that fills our souls and reminds us that WE MATTER.

Because sister, we do. Our happiness matters and we DESERVE to be happy. And putting ourselves first, even for just a few minutes, is so insanely empowering.

I know I sound like a broken record, and that’s ok! I'll do my favorite “broken record dance” all day long, because I believe with every cell in my body that our happiness is THE MOST POWERFUL TOOL WE HAVE for achieving our goals.

I’m calling bullshit on “I’ll be happy when I reach my goal,” and switching it to “I’ll reach my goal when I’m happy.”

Because it’s true. We reach our goals so much faster and with so much more ease when we operate with a full cup from consistently prioritizing our happiness. When we cultivate happiness FIRST, even in tiny ways, we are more confident in every step we take, and we attract positive people, opportunities and outcomes.

The happiness comes first. Achieving the goal is just an added bonus.

So grab that hairbrush and sing into that thing like you’re J-Lo, baby! And shake that booty like you mean it!

Xx Jen

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