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You Are Perfect (Yes You)


Self-love. It’s become somewhat of a buzzword, but for good reason. It is through complete self-acceptance and self-love that we come to know our true power.


When I say self-love, I’m not talking about a weekly massage or bubble bath (though I won’t turn down either of those). I’m talking about true, honest acceptance and appreciation for who we are.


This is a recurring theme in my writing, and the reason is simple – Because IT ALL STARTS HERE.

It all starts with truly seeing and loving ourselves, AS WE ARE.

Our gifts, yes, but also our “flaws.” Those “flaws” and our painful life experiences have led us to exactly who and where we are right now, and it is in THIS moment where our power lies.


The ability to love ourselves comes from remembering what we knew with complete confidence as young children - That we are perfect AS WE ARE.


Can it be challenging to see ourselves as perfect? Absolutely! Do we, especially women, tend to fixate on what we think is wrong with us or on the places we come up short? YES. And then we fixate on how to “fix” ourselves, right?


But what if, instead of trying to fix these parts of ourselves, we appreciated them, honored them and accepted them as a part of the beautifully imperfect perfect souls we are?

Forcing ourselves to change is the antithesis of self-love.

Healthy changes naturally flow when we genuinely love ourselves, "flaws" and all. Healthy changes stop feeling like a struggle when our love for ourselves is authentic and unconditional.


So how do we get there? Baby steps.


This exercise is a great place to start, and one I do often:


Hold in your mind the image of a small child you know. (Five was my most challenging age with my oldest, so I like to use that memory of him for this exercise.)


Think of that child at their bossiest, brattiest, grumpiest and sassiest. Really create the moment, all the feelings of irritation and exasperation.


Now ask yourself this question- Do you love them less because of their behavior?


Maybe you hide beside the washing machine to get a little peace for a few minutes (who me?) but do you LOVE them any less? Of course not.

You. Are. That. Child.

Love her. Every little part of her. Celebrate her victories but also her failures. Know that every time that child (YOU!) falls, she is learning and growing. Feel the pride in your heart as you see her get back up, dust herself off and try again and again! Love her for that. For everything she is, and everything you know she will be.


THAT is self-love.


You are worthy of that love.


It’s an exercise every single day, to see ourselves as we do a child. To embrace EVERY aspect of ourselves. To SLOW DOWN and stay aware when we start to talk negatively to ourselves. Would we say the nasty things we say to ourselves to a child we love? If not, then it has no place in our self-talk.


What unloving, perhaps downright mean things do you say to yourself? (You’re not thin enough, you’re not smart enough, you screw everything up... ) Take a minute and write down all the limiting things you say to yourself. Don’t hold back. We can be so cruel to ourselves.


***


Once you’ve written down all the unkind things you say to yourself, re-read each one, saying them out loud, but imagine you’re saying them to the young child you pictured in your mind in the exercise above.


Eye opening, huh?


Now imagine yourself as that child and tell her all the things you LOVE about her. All the things that make you proud. About YOU. (You’re strong, you’re passionate, you’re loving…)


***


This is a great exercise to use every time you catch yourself in negative self-talk.

Self-love begins with accepting ALL of ourselves, the way we so effortlessly accept ALL of a child we love.

We don’t think our daughter or nephew is any less lovable because they are moody or because they don’t hit the ball on the first (or fifty-first) try.

And the way they look certainly doesn’t make us love them less.


No, we see WHO THEY ARE, and we love them for that. The rest is just extraneous stuff.


We are that child. We are worthy of loving ourselves exactly as we are. Because we are perfect, exactly as we are, “flaws” and all. And once we genuinely accept our imperfect perfection, we operate from a positive, empowered place of genuine self-love in everything we do. And that, my beautiful friend, is when the magic starts to happen.


Xx Jen

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